FireFox - Just like a disfunctional relationship
I loved firefox at one time. She had everything I wanted and needed, and more, from a browser. She was fast, nimble, extensible, she had and did everything I needed. And I do mean EVERYTHING. She was HOT!!
Then we got married. She put on a lot of weight, she became very sluggish and started to really slow me down. She uses all of my resources and will sit there and do nothing for long periods of time so I cannot do anything else but wait for her.
It is over baby. You are a fat, sluggish, resource hogging glutton that is taking more than you give.
I still love you, but I have to move on. And even though I will be dating your red headed step sister I will still want to see you from time to time so I can use firebug.
Open Source used to be so sexy. What happened to you? Are you becoming like Britteny Spears?
I think Fire fox has a memory leak
I could be wrong though. I often am.
My script goes to eleven.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
This reminds me of debugging PERL back in the 90's.
Open Source my ass
Open Source is starting to get on my nerves.
I love open source about 90% of the time. But FF and Eclipse are turning into a bloated sacks of fark that makes MS's worst bloated sack of fark look like notepad.
Let me see.... Right now FF is using 450 megs of ram and Eclipse is @ 358 megs.
A browser using 450 megs of ram? I close out all but one browser window and it is still using 450 megs. Open what? Suck what?
If a site has a flash video (like Youtube), FF pegs the processor of my 3 yr old (1.8 gig P4 - 1.28 gig ram) laptop and grinds it to a farking halt. Unusable.
Flash videos also pegs my 2.8 gig duel processor HP box. Nice.
No wonder I think that OSS zealots are idiots.
"But OSS is FREE!"
So is dirt. Blow me.
The spaghetti monster from hell - and a mentor
The intranet I work with at work is a nightmare. I hate it. It is the spaghetti monster from hell. I have written some crappy code in the past but this thing takes the cake. When I first started I thought that I just didn't "get it"... that the guy before me had some mojo I just couldn't get my head around. Now I know he was a bad coder and a horrible architect.
Smart? yes. talented? Sorta. Good? no.
Both my boss and myself DREAD having to deal with his code.
My second thought:
I want a mentor. There is no one that I work with that can bring me to the next level with Coldfusion. My boss is a gifted programmer but he is a VB Jedi and is still learning CF. He has taught me a lot but I want an Andrés Segovia type mentor. Someone who will not take no for an answer, whip me into shape, and teach me the ways of the code warrior.
I am truly ready, willing and able.
Why God hates me
This lovely little nugget of SUCK my predecessors left me fills me with the urge to vomit
<CFSet ArrayNew = "My Life sucks" >
I inherited a huge intranet at my new job. It is all done using CFWACK (ColdFusion Web Application Construction Kit) procedural style development. No biggie. I have been do that sort of development for years... I learned CF using CFWACK as my guide. But my predecessor loved arrays... As my boss told me "I cannot express to you how much that man loved arrays". It was not some sort of neurosis... this man was psychotic about it. The site is littered with him literally creating and parsing arrays for the sake of doing so. He literally spent four months converting the site from using query datasets to arrays. So there is four months of bat shit crazy code that I have to un-scramble. The man was a human code obfuscater. Oh, and did I mention that the man did not indent his code? I mean, AT ALL? Ever? Never ever?
This is what I wrote my boss the other day:
Sent: Thursday, April 19, 2007 12:10 PM
To: Michael Reynolds
Subject: ArrayNew = My Life sucks
I am really, really, REALLY, REALLY starting to hate arrays. If people made cars the way my predecessor made data structures a go cart would be the size of an oil tanker, have 400 steering wheels, no brakes and starting it would require more secret hand signals than an epileptic third base coach on meth.
Z
Here is an example of the shit I have to deal with:
<CFQuery NAME="GetContacts" Datasource="db_CS">
SELECT * FROM tbl_Contact WHERE NOT Email IS NULL AND StatusID = 2
</cfquery>
<CFSet EmailArray=ArrayNew(2)>
<CFOutput Query="GetContacts">
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][1]=NAME>
<CFSEt EmailArray[CurrentRow][2]=EMail>
<CFSet EMailArray[CurrentRow][3]=Title>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][4]=Addr1>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][5]=Addr2>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][6]=City>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][7]=StateID>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][8]=Zip>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][9]=ProjID>
<CFQuery NAME="GetProj" Datasource="#DSN#">
SELECT ProjNum, Title FROM tblProj WHERE ID=#ProjID#
</cfquery>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][10]=GetProj.ProjNum>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][11]=GetProj.Title>
<CFQuery NAME="GetClientName" Datasource="#DSN#">
SELECT tblRP.ClientName FROM tblRP INNER JOIN tblRPProj ON tblRP.ID=tblRPProj.RPID WHERE tblRPProj.ProjID=#ProjID#
</cfquery>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][12]=GetClientName.ClientName>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][13]=ID>
</cfoutput>
<cfmail Subject="Some email">
<BR>
#DateFormat(Now(),"dddd, mmmm d, yyyy")#<BR>
<BR>
Dear #EMailArray[L][1]#:<BR>
#EmailArray[L][1]#<BR>
#EmailArray[L][3]#<BR>
#EmailArray[L][12]#<BR>
#EmailArray[L][4]#<CFIF Len(TRIM(EmailArray[L][5])) neq 0><BR>
#EmailArray[L][5]#<BR></cfif>
#EmailArray[L][6]#, #Application.StateArray[EmailArray[L][7]][1]# #EMailArray[L][8]#<BR>
<BR>
..... etc
SELECT * FROM tbl_Contact WHERE NOT Email IS NULL AND StatusID = 2
</cfquery>
<CFSet EmailArray=ArrayNew(2)>
<CFOutput Query="GetContacts">
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][1]=NAME>
<CFSEt EmailArray[CurrentRow][2]=EMail>
<CFSet EMailArray[CurrentRow][3]=Title>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][4]=Addr1>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][5]=Addr2>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][6]=City>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][7]=StateID>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][8]=Zip>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][9]=ProjID>
<CFQuery NAME="GetProj" Datasource="#DSN#">
SELECT ProjNum, Title FROM tblProj WHERE ID=#ProjID#
</cfquery>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][10]=GetProj.ProjNum>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][11]=GetProj.Title>
<CFQuery NAME="GetClientName" Datasource="#DSN#">
SELECT tblRP.ClientName FROM tblRP INNER JOIN tblRPProj ON tblRP.ID=tblRPProj.RPID WHERE tblRPProj.ProjID=#ProjID#
</cfquery>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][12]=GetClientName.ClientName>
<CFSet EmailArray[CurrentRow][13]=ID>
</cfoutput>
<cfmail Subject="Some email">
<BR>
#DateFormat(Now(),"dddd, mmmm d, yyyy")#<BR>
<BR>
Dear #EMailArray[L][1]#:<BR>
#EmailArray[L][1]#<BR>
#EmailArray[L][3]#<BR>
#EmailArray[L][12]#<BR>
#EmailArray[L][4]#<CFIF Len(TRIM(EmailArray[L][5])) neq 0><BR>
#EmailArray[L][5]#<BR></cfif>
#EmailArray[L][6]#, #Application.StateArray[EmailArray[L][7]][1]# #EMailArray[L][8]#<BR>
<BR>
..... etc
When ever I see ArrayNew I know that my life is going to suck. All I have to say is why in the fark don't you use the variable names? I mean, CF casts the query as a structure with the variable scope being the name of the query for fucks sake. Why in the name of all that is not stupid do you need to turn it into yet another data structure?
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